God really likes me to laugh

Or He'd like me to be fired for laughing aloud at the client. Whichever.

I have no words.

What bugs me is, why would they intimidate the Consultant Physician? Why not start with the "Junior Staff Nurse" or "Jr Housekeeper"?

I thought they might intimidate the "Trainee Perfusionist" on Row 1, too, but he turns out to be pretty damn important.

Also, this was totally not meant to be my comeback post to this blog. There's some stuff in the pipeline, I promise. Please don't intimidate me. Expecially by circular.

Not all treasure's silver and gold, mate

One stormy night, when the power was shut off. The Family, doing the crossword by the light of an emergency lamp:-

Me (reading out the clue): Al Jolson's boy, 5 letters. Who's Al Jolson?
The Father: I don't know, di
(short brain-racking pause)
The Mother (with a look of epiphany): I know - ELVIS !!!
(horrified pause)
The Mother: The whole of America will kill me, no?

****

One Sunday, post janmashtami two years ago. The Family, lazing around the living room, after a late and varied breakfast:-

Me: That teratti paal was awesome. I loved it!
The Sister: Me too!
The Father: Me three!!
Me (hurriedly): I'm claiming that teratti paal - sticking my flag into it and claiming it in the name of Me!
The Sister: You can't do that!
Me: Why not? They did it to the moon!
The Sister (a soon-to-be-lawyer): No they didn't. You can't claim stuff like that. It's the common heritage of mankind. And so is teratti paal!
Me: ...

****
A far-off day, and a horrifically messy room:

Me (raving and ranting at the Sister): Can't you atleast put your clothes away or hang them up? You just fling things all around without even bothering! Totally useless and irresponsible ... (insert more ravings and rantings of your choice here) ... If you do this again, I am going to kill you and then come and jump on your grave - wearing spikes!
(pause for a deep breath)
The Sister, the athlete in the house in our school days: Wearing MY new spikes??

****

Early one morning in Law class, during a class on Directorship of a Company and specifically, why the position cannot be assigned:

Mr. J, law professor and Company Secretary: ... The office of the President of India is not your grandfather's property...

****

One which I couldn't resist, taken from here:


E: I want popcorn.
Me: You could eat a can of chick peas.
E: Wow! I could also eat the carpet!

****
For more witticisms, go here!